


When Did Everything Become Such a Hell of a Mess?

by ItsMeGetOverIt



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Afterlife/SOSpt1 AU, Angst, Friendship, Loss, Team as Family, beginning of grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 14:32:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7644697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsMeGetOverIt/pseuds/ItsMeGetOverIt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if things had gone just a little differently after Jiaying had been shot? People on the ground reacted differently and suddenly everything's changed. Jiaying's carefully plotted catalyst sets off a different chain reaction across Afterlife and S.H.I.E.L.D. and one person from The Team doesn't leave alive.</p>
<p>A kind of rewrite of the start of 2x21 SOS. (But I'm very glade they didn't go down THIS path.) There's a couple of moments of swearing, and considering what I did to the character VERY MINOR swearing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Did Everything Become Such a Hell of a Mess?

**Author's Note:**

> _Cut to now, holy wow,_  
>  when did everything become   
> such a hell of a mess?  
> Maybe now, maybe now,  
> can somebody come  
> and take this off my chest?  
> -Are We All We Are, P!nk
> 
> Well, this exploded into something much larger (and sadder) than I was originally intending… Sorry!  
> [Oh and I know I switch between 'mom' and 'mum' but that's intentional to help differentiate between American character's thoughts and British character's thoughts- not a typo]

A gunshot echoed in Afterlife and both humans and Inhumans came rushing towards where the sound originated. Jiaying came stumbling out of the meeting building, clutching her left shoulder. Blood coloured her hands. Once she reached the centre of the courtyard the injured woman's legs gave out from under her and she collapsed.

"Mom!" Skye cried seeing the prone form of her birth mother. Rushing to her side she asked, "Mom, what happened?"

"Gonzales," she started weakly as more Inhumans reached the clearing. "He said that we- the Inhumans should be exterminated."

A groan of pain escaped Jiaying as Jemma and two other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents joined the group.

"He had a gun."

Skye moved to stand and follow up with Gonzales, but her mother's hand on her arm locked her into place.

"No, stay with me, please. Gordon will take care of him."

At her words Gordon and another Inhuman left, but not in the direction of the meeting building.

Likely to get more people to help with a confrontation, Jemma supposed.

"Get everyone to safety," the Inhuman leader told Lincoln.

Standing to do as he was bided, Lincoln called to the group that were still there, "Everyone, this way."

When the medical student had left with a group of residents, Jemma moved to take his place beside the injured woman. One of the agents with her narrowed his brown eyes towards the prone form.

"Let me take a look at that," she offered in her calmest and most professional voice.

"S.H.I.E.L.D.'s done enough," Jiaying spat, refusing the doctor's help. "We have our own doctors. I'll be fine in time. Right now, we have more pressing concerns."

"You should get out of here," Skye commented softly to her concerned friend.

"What about you?" Jemma pressed back.

"I…" Skye faltered.

What about her? Where did she fall in this mess? She was S.H.I.E.L.D., but Jiaying was her mother and she was Inhuman. She couldn't answer Jemma, or really take her eyes off her injured mom. Which answered Jenna's question without Skye having to say anything.

Turning to face the two agents with her Jemma ordered, "Miguel, go back and inform agents May, Morse, and Weaver about what's happened. Find out if any of them knew Gonzales would do something like this."

"Got it," Miguel nodded before running off.

"What are we doing?" the remaining agent, Colin, asked.

"Staying here until their own medical staff get here to ensure the Inhuman leader doesn’t worsen."

"Jemma," he started but was silenced by the determined look the younger agent threw him.

Turning to the two women still on the ground Jemma explained, "I understand you don't want my help, but I will not turn my back on someone who is hurt regardless of personal feelings. Especially not a relative of someone I care for.

"Skye, you've never had medical training, and from what I've gathered, Inhuman physiology is mostly the same as human- baring the DNA factors that differentiate. For just the standard bullet wound treatment it all appears the same. So, doing as I say won't do any harm."

As Jemma's words and directions washed over her Skye felt some of her panic begin to recede. Jemma wouldn't let her mom bleed out before her.

Colin leaned in to whisper to Jemma once Skye was busy with her mother.

"Jemma, that wound doesn't add up."

"What?" Jemma whispered back.

"I've worked with Gonzales. This isn't his style. And if he was going to kill her, like she said, he wouldn't have hit her there. Since Hydra he's always gone for the headshot."

"If she was seated-"

"Then, even if she'd stood as he pulled the trigger, the trajectory would have been completely different and he would have fired more than one shot. This doesn't add up!"

* * *

 

Miguel ran up the ramp of the most populated Quinjet and intruded on the conversation between Agent May and Director Coulson. Thankfully Agents Morse and Weaver were there too, so he wouldn't have to repeat himself.

"Agent May," he began as an apology for interrupting. "Sir, there's been gunfire. The Inhuman leader's been shot, allegedly by Gonzales. It appears like it's going to get worse."

The shock on all the faces before him reassures Miguel in a way because now he at least knows that if Gonzales _did_ fire it was a solo act; S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't looking to start a war.

"What about Gonzales?" Director Coulson asked, the first one to recover from his news. "Where's he? And where's Dr Simmons, Agent Taylor?"

"I don't know about Gonzales, but Dr Simmons stayed with the leader. I think she wanted to offer medical help. Simon was staying with her."

"Well, Gonzales got what he wanted," Agent Fitz retorted from beside the Director, Agent Hunter nodded next to him too.

"No," he immediately corrected the agent. "He wouldn't do that. It has to be something else." Coulson's eyes locked onto May's as he ordered, "Find Gonzales, get everyone out." His gaze shifted between the three senior agents at his next order, "I don't want to escalate the situation till we find out what we're dealing with."

May, Morse and Weaver all nodded before the transmission cut off.

The Asian agent's eyes hardened as she began moving down the ramp and ordering, "Have all three birds ready to fly the _second_ we return." Levelling a look to Morse, "You're with me."

* * *

Jemma and Colin's whispered conversation was interrupted by the return of Lincoln.

"We need to get you to the doctors."

With great difficulty and a loud groan Jiaying moved to stand. "Okay."

A Quinjet flew down and hovered ominously over the building. The two remaining S.H.I.E.L.D. agents stood confusion written all over their faces.

"What the hell is going on?" Jemma cried loudly. "Colin, stay with Skye; keep her safe. I'm going to find out where the bloody hell Gonzales is and what he's playing at."

Jemma levelled her best glare at Colin when he opened his mouth to challenge her authority again, but he quickly nodded and turned to do as she ordered him. Before she could talk herself out of it Jemma ran up the steps.

Opening the door she called out, in case the older agent was hurt and waiting to shoot at anyone who enters, "Agent Gonzales? Sir, it's Agent Simmons."

Hearing nothing she continued in. The sight that met her was one she'd hoped to never face again.

Before her was the stone figure of Gonzales and her mind flashed to the crumbling body of Trip. Steadying her breath and willing the memories that were trying to surface Jemma scanned the room.

Her heart raced as she saw a gun on the floor. Walking up to it she saw there was no way for it have been fired by Gonzales and land here like this. Stealing herself she looked back to the petrified agent and she noticed his missing hand.

His right hand.

A noise at the window had her look out.

_Oh no!_

Adrenaline coursed through her as she saw the Quinjet outside the window fire its missiles. Without thinking she raced towards the door before pain erupted and darkness followed consuming her.

* * *

Colin opened his mouth to argue, but the glare levelled at him from, technically, his superior quietened his object before a noise passed his lips. The trio he was to stick close to hadn't even fully stood before Jemma was ascending the steps. He followed the three Inhumen's slow pace away from the courtyard and the looming Quinjet not watching as Jemma entered the building.

The quartet had barely made it through the archway leaving the courtyard when the group was knocked forward by a blast wave. Shakily Colin pushed himself up once he found his equilibrium again. Just in front of him the three he'd been following where stirring too.

Turning back to see the destroyed building behind him a bubble of grief swelled within Colin.

**_NO!_ **

"Why would you let them do this to us?" he heard the leader quiz Skye. "I thought you were on our side."

"I am…" the young agent stumbled over her words.

Grief quickly transformed into anger within Colin and he spun back towards the Inhumen.

"Don't be a fool Agent Skye," he spat out angrily taking a shaky step towards them. "That wasn't an attack from S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Your leader shot me!"

"And what? Ordered for the only building occupied by S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel to be destroyed?"

A group of Inhumen, that had yet to be evacuated, came to their leader's aid.

"You must really think us an incompetent international spy agency if in a bid to apparently exterminate your people we destroy only _one_ building in this whole fucking community! And one that didn't even have any of your people inside! One heat scan would reveal the most populated building or area, but that's not where the missile went. You say we're here to declare war on you, but I count two dead S.H.I.E.L.D. agents! And only one _injured_ Inhuman- with not even a fatal injury! If we were here to attack you, the way you're describing, why the fuck wouldn't we have fired on your evacuating people? Why would we even have non-combat agents on the ground after the meeting started?"

Turning on Skye, Colin was vaguely aware of the group listening to him and the arrival of Agents Morse and May, but they were all just blurs at edge of his vision.

"I thought Jemma was your friend! You actually think the worst of her that she's here to attack you?"

"No! She _is_ my friend!"

"And you," he rounded on the Inhuman that Coulson's team had saved from that Hydra base, swaying slightly at his own sudden movements. "Dr Simmons saved your life. You've seen the way we work inside S.H.I.E.L.D., the we interact. Do you really think the Director would have sent one of his favourite agents into a situation he intended to turn into a war zone? One of our brightest, and kindest, and…"

He lost his steam and collapsed onto his bottom as his eyes burned at the thought of having to tell the Director, having to tell _Fitz_ , having to tell _the **family**_ that Jemma was…

"Agent Simon, where's Dr Simmons?" May asked.

Anger flared in his chest again as he pointed back to the smoky wreckage of the destroyed building. "In there!"

May paled, Morse blanched, while Skye collapsed in a similar way to the brunet male agent.

"What they hell happened?" May quizzed angrily.

"One of your Quinjets blew it up in an assassination attempt," the Inhuman leader called theatrically, "on my life."

"What?" she whispered, but it could have been a shot for how quiet the courtyard went at her words.

The look in Morse's eye showed her confusion at what people were saying. But there was something in every eye that she met that told her that a Quinjet had destroyed the building, even if it wasn't a S.H.I.E.L.D. approved attack.

"If S.H.I.E.L.D. had been trying to kill you, you would be dead," May said simply. "It wouldn't be done somewhere so public and with so many witnesses."

A mummer went through the people that had gathered.

"And certainly not at the expense of the life of one of the most sought after young scientist and a valued S.H.I.E.L.D. asset," Bobbi continued her voice hardening in shocked anger. "Pick a secret global organisation and they wanted to get their hands on Dr Simmons. We were beyond lucky that all she wanted to do was understand things and use that knowledge to protect, help, people."

"That's all she ever wanted," Colin added softly. "All her life that's all she ever really wanted; to understand and protect. Understand how things worked, how to improve, and to keep everyone safe; especially those she cared about most; the people she loves."

May's attention returned to Agent Simon.

"Where are you going?" She snapped not unkindly, rushing to the agent who'd collapsed and was again struggling his feet.

"I'm going to find the body of m-my _sister_. I may have fai- failed in keeping her _safe_ , but I won't fail in bringing her home. I’m not leaving with-without her."

His broken words sent a shocked wave of silence over the group, both Inhuman and the few S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that had accompanied the two senior agents. May was frozen at his declaration.

"Si-sister?" Skye asked.

"You ever been the older sibling to a child prodigy? I got sick of the comparison between us, so I dropped a 'M' and 'S' when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D.- there were no doctorates or anything in my name to have to try and alter when getting into Operations Academy," he muttered as he reached the pile of rubble. "But she's _my_ sister; _my_ responsibility."

Bobbi saw the way the Inhuman leader was watching Skye. Looking around the gathered group, the experienced agent could see that many were rattled by Simon's words and actions.

"That does nothing but help highlight the question; if S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't fire on that building, who did?" an older man asked, stepping out from the crowd.

"What are you implying, Deshi?" Jiaying shot back facing the man.

"Implying? Nothing. Just pointing out that S.H.I.E.L.D.," he gestured to May, Bobbi, Skye, and Simon off in the distance, "appear as stunned as we are at the building you'd just been occupying but were conveniently far enough away from was blown up."

"You think we can trust these people? That they're not just lying to us?"

"Not all of us live as long as you, or have your life experiences; but I know what genuine shock looks like. They care for that woman whose been killed, and it's only fair to question who killed her because they would not be shocked if they'd been planning an attack."

"They want to number and keep stock of us! Nothing good will come of that!" the woman yelled angrily. "They _act_ like they understand us, like they’re going to help us, be reasonable, but all they will do is subjugate us! We have to defend ourselves!"

"Keep track of us, Inhumen, the same way you, me, and the rest of the elders have for generations? Does that sound like an oppressor?"

"They are the enemy, and I will not let all my work of keeping us safe go to waste. We must strike back!"

"But who threw the first strike?!" the old man, Deshi, bellowed.

"We needed a push to fight before it was too late!"

Silence echoed in the space at Jiaying's confession.

"You were trying to lead us into war," Lincoln said, shocked.

"We're already at war," the injured woman snapped. "Most of you just can't see it."

"With who? S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Skye quizzed.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. Human kind! They're either one of us or the enemy!"

"And you'll kill anyone who gets in your way," a young man from the crowd softly commented.

"Only if they're in my way," Jiaying said coldly.

"Raina was right, you're not leading us; you're _mis_ -leading us!"

The group surrounding them became more and more vocal in their cry against the choices their leader made for them. As she became surrounded Jiaying's eyes became desperate.

One Inhuman came barrelling through the crowd, scooped the injured woman up and ran off before anyone, Inhuman or otherwise, could stop him.

"Deshi, what will we do now?"

* * *

The screen blinked to life and Coulson felt his blood run cold at the look in May's eye.

"May, sensors are saying your jet is not in flight. What's happened?"

"The Inhumen are essentially willing to work with us," she reported, her tone unfamiliar to most agents listening. "There's just a small faction that are wanting to declare war on S.H.I.E.L.D. and human-kind. Skye's mother and a small group working with her were trying to incite the rest of the Inhumen into fighting for their cause and unify them. However Agent Simon pointed out the flaws in their performances in an emotional display that made a lot doubt our 'attack'. The majority are willing to listen and work with S.H.I.E.L.D., led by Skye and one of their elders; a man by the name of Deshi. They've promised to assist us in ending the war of their splinter group."

"That's great," Coulson softly exclaimed.

But he _knew_ that tone. May was upset. Something had happened. Whatever it was had rattled her more than she was willing to admit or show. And a rattled May _always_ scared Coulson.

"Why do I feel like I'm waiting for another shoe to drop, May? Wait, did you say Simon had an emotional display? Over what?"

"Sir, where you aware of a connection between Agent Simon and Agent Simmons?" May asked.

"Aside from being English and with similar names?"

"Simon?" Fitz pipped up. "Colin Simon? He's Jemma's brother. He's _actually_ Colin Simmons, but he chose to go by Simon to try and prevent them being used against the other when he joined S.H.I.E.L.D." The dots quickly connected for Fitz. "Why? What happened to Jemma?"

"Agent May?" Weaver pressed after the field agent remained silent for a moment too long for any of their comfort.

"Agents Gonzales and Simmons were killed in the staged attack."

May's words had an immediate effect on all the people who had heard them. It appeared to even hurt May having to say it.

Coulson and Weaver both looked like the wind had been completely knocked out of them. Hunter's jaw popped open, his breathing ragged as he turned to face away from the group. Coulson's face looked to age before anyone who'd been capable of paying attention's eyes, leaning back onto his desk seeking support. Weaver felt extra grateful she was already seated for her legs were probably as likely to give out on her as Fitz's had him.

Fitz collapsed onto the chair right behind him, his vision blurred as May's words rang in his ears. His eyes burning. Head in his hands he concentrated on his breathing. Fighting back the growing lump in his throat.

**_In through the nose. Out through the mouth._ **

**_In through the nose._ ** _Jemma dead? No. She was just going to Index the Inhuman. **Out through the mouth.**_

**_In through the mouth._ ** _He should have gone with her! Why didn't he? What was there to be scared of? He never should have let her go. **Out through the mouth.**_

**_In through the nose._ ** _He never should have let her out of his sight. **Out through his mouth.**_

**_In._ ** _He must have misheard. **Out.**_

**_In. Out._** _Yes, that it! **In.** He must have heard Simmons and Simon the wrong way around. **Out.** She can't be dead. **In. Out.** She can't! They'd just finally, _finally _gotten back onto the same page._

**_In._ ** _He couldn't lose her now. **In.** Not now… **In.**_

_This was just a nightmare. **In.**_

_Why couldn't he get enough air into his lungs? **In. In.**_

Fitz felt his head being forced between his knees and finally it felt like he was breathing. A supportive hand was across his shoulder and another ran up and down his spine. When he heard a discernable rumble, asking about his breathing, Fitz nodded. The hand stroked his back disappeared but he could still feel the presence near him and one hand on his shoulder.

The conversation around Fitz slowly came back to him as the ringing in his ears finally faded.

"…helping remove the debris to find her body. Simon is refusing to leave without it."

"What kind of numbers are we talking about for the splinter group?"

"A dozen, maybe more, most likely less."

"How long do you estimate you will be there?"

"I can't say. Most Inhumen are helping to search the debris and all the agents who'd been in this Quinjet I sent there too. So there's a lot people working, but it all depends on where she was when the building went down. "

"I hate to say this, especially since I know Jemma meant something to all of us," Weaver started, her face pained yet determined. "But we can't focus solely on finding one body when there is a group of powered and dangerous individuals out there looking to start a war."

"I agree," Coulson said with a nod. "That's why I want you, and the agents on your Quinjet to go back to the _Iliad_ , you will now be the commander for us there Agent Weaver. Let them know what's happened, and begin preparation to defend it."

"As much as we can when a teleporter is involved." Weaver nodded. "Yes sir."

"Keep me updated."

May nodded grim and silent.

"And May, bring her home."

* * *

Brown eyes surveyed the mess before him. His _meimei_ was somewhere under that.

Blinking back the tears he was refusing to spill for now. Colin Simmons pulled the first debris away.

Silently he worked pulling rocks, wood, and tiles away. He'd barely made any headway when another body joined him in pushing a splintered log away.

Colin might have been shocked at the small elderly man's assistance if he wasn't just grateful in thinking it would help him find Jemma sooner.

"You look like some help wouldn't go astray."

Colin shrugged. "I let her out of my sight. I lost her. It's my fault; my job to find her."

"Your sister?" he pressed softly.

" _Meimei_ ," he whispered throwing his weight into moving a rock, but found it was still lodged by the wreckage around it.

"Little sister?" The old man kept moving smaller pieces. "I must confess I didn't see any of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents when you arrived. What am I looking for?"

"She's tiny," he choked out. "Always small for her age and too smart for either of our good, with a heart that was too pure for the world not to keep trying to break. She has a smile that could out shine the sun and a fire in her eye when she's defending someone she loves that's fierce enough to make people twice, three times her age and size take a step back." Colin shook his head leaning against the rock. "Sorry, that's not a description of what you should look for."

"But it’s a description of her," kind eyes corrected.

Swiping roughly at his face Colin. "She's 5'4'', has hair a little darker than mine, and is wearing clothes similar to me too; jacket, jeans and boots all in black. And our Gran's necklace for luck. Not that it did her any good on this mission."

The man nodded. "Tell me more about the woman we're looking for."

"She was here to help, I let her out of my sight, and now I have to bring her dead body back to our parents. Let dad know I allowed the best thing that ever happened to our family die. Killed in a fucking stupid attempt to trigger a war." Anger surged through him and he threw the wood in his hand as far as he could away from where he was clearing. Turning back to the man he practically growled, "What else do you want to know?!"

The man didn't say anything but continued to move the wreckage. Colin finally noticed they weren't the only two sorting through the space. There were a dozen people he didn't recognise, Inhumen he realised, working on it too. Miguel looked up from where he was working with a bunch of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.

Silently Miguel moved closer to where his friend was. He joined the old man in lifting a support beam out of the way.

"I always think of the first time I met Jemma when people ask what she's like," he began. A smile appeared on his face, almost like it was against his will. "She was, what 19? 20? 19 I think, and it was her first visit home since she'd been made an actual Agent. I'd met Colin at the Academy only months earlier, she didn't know I was in S.H.I.E.L.D. too and tried to lie about her job."

Both men laughed lost in the memory.

"Sorry," Miguel shook his head. "But if you'd ever met her you would know she's the _worst_ liar you have _ever_ met. There was never a need for a lie detector around her, she had so many tells. I asked her what she was doing in America that she hadn't made it home for a visit." Another laugh escaped him. "Her eyes widened, she gave off this comically forced laugh and said, ' _Research! What else would a double PhD be doing for months away in America? Not secretly studying to join a spy organisation or anything! Hmm, what?_ ' I just looked at her stunned."

"Oh gods yes! Then she went on a _painfully_ long ramble about…" Colin scratched his head, "what was it again?"

"Hells if I know! She started throwing scientific jargon at me, and would grin dreamily whenever she talked about her lab partner." Miguel smiled at the old man. "Jemma's scary smart and honest, with a no nonsense attitude when it comes to safety or science. Don't mess with her science!"

A choked laugh escaped Colin. "Yes! Never mess with her science! When she was eight, she roped me into helping her collect samples of as many of the local insect species we could find. Two months of being her pack horse and following her through ponds, gardens, and anywhere our parents gave the okay for us to go for her get as many as she could. As a joke I messed with a couple of the obvious ones. She had them all categorised in a particular system. There were like over thirty of them sorted by scientific names, classes, species, genius and all that- including their Latin categories. I changed some of their names into joke Latin names or phrases, but didn't move them from their proper place or anything! Just re-wrote some of their names." Another choked laugh escaped him as he managed to dislodge another support beam. "She didn't talk to me for a week! Refused to help me with my science homework for another two on top of that too."

A cry from one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents grabbed everyone's attention.

Colin rushed over, his heart in his throat. This was it. There was no denying it if her body was laid out before him.

* * *

May gave Cal another withering look, gun levelled at him, as she guided him back to where everyone still at Afterlife was gathered.

"I swear if you ask me one more question with the day I'm having a will knock you out so hard that you won't wake until you're a grandfather," she growled. "Or I'll just kill you."

The mad look in Cal's eye became tempered and the, no doubt, less than sane reply he was about to retort died on his lips when he saw his daughter standing by a building wreckage with a tear streaked face.

"Sit," May ordered.

Cal obliged while throwing confused looks at the groups of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and Inhumen alike working through the debris. May found some sturdy pillar to secure Cal to before she faced the search party again.

"Update," she demanded of the nearest agent.

"Remains were found," the young woman began. "A petrified Gonzales. Agent Skye and a number of the Inhumen identified that it's was the result of a human coming into contact with the terrigen mist. What happened to Agent Tripplet in Puerto Rico."

May nodded to the agent for her to return to what she'd been doing. The senior agent looked over the remains of the building and saw Inhumen using their powers to help move the debris. There were a dozen of exactly the same woman moving things in tandem. The one they'd saved from Hydra was surrounding beams in what looked like a blue electric glow and making it rise from the piles around it before pushing it away from the surrounding wreckage. Another was picking things up and floating above the whole site to remove it.

With them all working together like this, it wouldn't take long to clear up any remains.

May's jaw clenched at the thought. She never should have let Jemma out of her sight. A voice in the back of her head pointed out that Jemma was a grown woman and capable of making her own choices and decisions. But May had always felt responsible for her. Her and Fitz she'd recommended for the bus despite their ineptitude for the field. She'd brought those kids into this dangerous world.

Speaking of kids.

May moved next to Skye and silently put a hand on the young woman's shoulder. Skye turned to May her heart break written as clear as day in her eyes, across her whole face. When she met May's eyes her face crumbled and she fell into May's arms.

Cal looked very concerned at her.

"What's happened?" he asked, actually soft and genuine.

Skye looked tentatively between May and her father. May's face was guarded, but the pain she was trying to hide was there in her eyes. While Cal's face looked confused and paternally worried.

"Can-can I talk about it to him?" she asked May, her hope in her eyes.

May thought on what she was asking and gave a slow nod.

"Keep an eye on him."

May walked off and assisted Agents Taylor and Simon-no wait _Simmons_ , to move another large rock in search of Jemma.

"Mom had some people steal a Quinjet and fired on that building," Skye began softly. "The only ones in the building were the guy sent to talk to her, Gonzales, and… and…" a few tears escaped down her face, "and one of my best friends; Jemma. There's no way she could have survived the blast. Mom killed her."

"She was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent," Cal retorted softly, sweat forming on across his brow.

"She was my friend! She loves me like a sister! She was the first one to welcome me to S.H.I.E.L.D. Jemma is the first female best friend I've _ever_ had. She always, _always_ , tried to make me feel included. After a life of looking in on others who had close connections and family she was the one who did everything she could to make _me_ feel that way. She risked her life for me. More than once! The last thing she did was ordered her brother to watch my back."

Skye told him tale after tale about how much Jemma meant to her.

"Most of my life I wanted somewhere I felt like I could belong, and she made me feel like I not only belonged, but that I mattered. Her and Fitz. Oh gods, _Fitz_." Tears streamed down her face. She shook her head before she continued, "She made me feel like I mattered," she repeated chocked up.

"You love her?"

"Y-ye-es."

Cal looked at her confused for a moment before pain swept over his features and he collapsed backwards having a fit.

"DAD!" Skye yelled rushing to his side.

A few people heard her yell and the woman who multiplied herself, or one of her copies at least, was by her side in a moment. She checked him over and yelled out to group still sorting the wreckage.

"Lincoln! I think he's having a bad reaction to his 'Hyde juice'. He's going into cardiac arrest, we need a med bag and an AED!"

There was a flurry of movement and action around them. Skye didn't know what was happening around her. First he best friend was killed by her mother, then her dad collapsed, from his own concoction.

This was the worst day ever.

Lincoln was there, and Skye was aware of May hovering near the edge of the group. To watch over her or her father she wasn't sure, but her silent presence gave her a comfort she sorely needed right then.

Skye watched as an injected of adrenaline was pushed in her father. Everyone froze as Cal's body convulsed in one final jerk before becoming still.  Everyone watched in slight horror as he transformed into a caricature blend of himself and a wolf monster. The three Inhumen kneeling by his side backed up.

Cal sat up suddenly. He looked down at his still bound hands and ripped them apart from each other snapping the bonds. Lincoln and the red haired Inhuman took more steps away. May reached out for Skye, forcing her behind her while her right hand hovered over her firearm.

Cal appeared to be taking stock of the changes he'd undergone before he leaned down to pick up the now empty syringe.

"This is what I was missing," he muttered to himself.

Dropping it he took a quick step towards May and Skye. May drew her weapon fully blocking Skye from his path.

"Please." May's shoulders tensed. "Please, let me help."

"What?"

"Let me help you find the girl," he growled.

"Why?"

"For Daisy."

"Who?"

"Me," Skye said softly from behind her. "My- my real name is Daisy. He wants to find her for me."

May shared a long look with Skye before she faced the transformed man again; reassessing him herself. After a tense moment she gave a slow nod and stepped aside. Nodding his thanks back, Cal ran towards the debris and all by himself moved the largest, still uncleared, rock from the pile and carried it out of the way.

Cal was moving his first mostly together pillar with a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent nearby.

"Body!" the agent yelled.

Cal gave a grunt as he removed the stone structure but it was the only sound to be heard aside from the clatter of many boots rushing to the location.

A sober circle surrounded the face down singed body of a young woman dressed in black. May and Colin were the only ones who approached the body. Bobbi despite her shock and sadness had a supportive hand on Skye's shoulder. Colin ran straight to the body's side and collapsed next to it, a sudden look of fear on his face.

"It's her," he whispered. "It's really her."

May gave the man a look, not of pity, but of heartbreaking understanding. As long as her body wasn't found they could pretend that she was still okay. Shakily she leaned over the body to roll her over.

Jemma's brown eyes looked up at the blue sky unseeing, a look of fear and pain echoing in their once warm depths.

But the broken body that lay before them now was unmistakably dead.

A sob escaped the man kneeling beside her as he closed her eyes for the last time. As the next cry erupted from him he drew her head into his arms and held her as closely and tenderly as she had over twenty-six years ago. When his father had place his new born sister in his arms and sternly warn his young son to always watch out for her; to be a good big brother. And he'd promised to _always_ try and keep her safe; to be the best-est big brother.

And here they were.

He had failed.

With tears still blurring his vision he struggled to scoop her up and stand. On his feet, the effort of moving so much debris caught up with him and he swayed ominously. May supported him by holding his elbow while Bobbi moved to take her from his arms.

"No!" he choked out. "I carried her to her crib on her first day in this world. I'm going to carry her today on her last."

Understand swept through all the people there at his words. Silently they all formed a line to assist him, without taking Jemma from his arms, to get out of the wreckage space. Once on solid ground Miguel took that duty on himself to walk silently beside his friend as he carried his sister to the waiting Quinjet.

More than once Colin stumbled. He'd had a very physically active day without the addition of an emotional weight to factor in. But anytime he looked to lose his hold on Jemma, Miguel or another agent supported his grasp around her; not letting her fall from his arms.

They made it all the way to the Quinjet and Colin still refused to let anyone take her from his arms. Seating himself Colin kept a tight hold on her.

Skye sat close to the Simmons siblings and Miguel while May had another discussion with Deshi, Bobbi prepping the Quinjet and the rest of the agents found their own seats.

Softly to Miguel Skye asked, "What's with the Japanese nickname?"

Miguel smiled sadly.

"It's a Firefly reference. Did you ever know of the show?" Skye hesitantly nods. "They both loved it. After that Colin always said she was the River of their family; not just scary smart, but a gift to their family. So he calls her _Meimei_."

"Cute and nerdy," Skye said shakily. "Just what I'd expect from Simmons."

"Hey the show had Zac Effron in it, therefore it can't be considered too nerdy," Miguel joked.

A few other agents around them gave soft chuckles, clearly hearing the exchange.

"That's my line," Colin retorted smiling sadly.

* * *

Coulson looked around the hanger and felt his eyes sting. He hadn't done anything, but nearly every agent on the base was here. Only the people who had to remain at their posts were not here.

What started as a couple of scientists who wish to do something to honour their fallen friend quickly spread to all of the Sci-Tech division. Then to the agents in Coms. Then to Ops. Now the bay was filled with most of the Playground's personnel.

Looking around Coulson saw confirmation of what he already knew; Jemma was loved and this blow was going to be even harder than losing Trip only months earlier. The Playground- no; **_S.H.I.E.L.D._** was going to be a sadder and darker place now without her smile to lighten, and brighten the place.

Beside him stood Fitz. The young man's face was tear stained and his eyes had a haunted look that Coulson had hoped to never see in them to this degree. A look of lost purpose. Like his whole world had been shattered, and shifted beneath his feet. But infinitely worse than when Hydra had revealed itself.

Coulson felt sick to his stomach at the thought of how difficult this was going to be to get over. For just himself, not even thinking of Fitz, or Skye. Or how he would support them through this?

A sliver of his heart still desperately clutched to a hope that there was going to have been a miscommunication. That Jemma hadn't been in the building like they'd thought. The group would find her just outside the blast range, knocked out but alive. He knew it was just his brain in denial- the first stage of grief- but the sliver was there. And was refusing to leave just yet.

There was still hope.

Until there wasn't.

The Quinjet lowered its loading ramp and the stony face of May supporting a tear stained Skye met him. The look in both their eyes disintegrated that remaining hope.

A chocked noise came from Fitz, but his legs didn't wavier as he stood next to the Director. There was an agent behind his team mates that Fitz vaguely recognised. It wasn't until the man was before Fitz that he placed him; Miguel Taylor, Colin's friend.

"Fitz," he softly greeted. Fitz could only nod back. "I know this is almost impossible to ask, but could you help Colin carry her?"

Fitz blanched at the request. The Director shot his field agent an incredulous look.

"He's refusing to let anyone help him, but I think he would let you," the agent explained.

Steeling his nerves Fitz nodded and walked up the ramp. A fresh wave of tears streamed down his face as he saw Colin cradling Jemma like she'd simply fallen asleep and needed to be carried to bed, but with a vice like grip. A lump almost chocked Fitz as his lead filled legs slowly approached them.

"Colin," Fitz called.

The elder Simmons' head snapped up. After meeting familiar but different eyes, Fitz found the courage to look down and confirm with his own eyes the one thing he's most hoped to never see.

"Fitz-" Colin tried to say something but he clearly had his own lump in his throat he was failing to get past.

Fitz knelt before him.

"Let me take her," he gasped out. His hand reached out and straightened a strain of her hair that fallen across her face in the way she hated the most. "Please let me-"

Brown and blue eyes locked. Their shared grief filling the entire space until it was thick enough to almost be tasted.

Slowly Colin's grip loosened. Fitz reached out and pulled Jemma's limp body, not yet ridged, into his arms. A wave of her shampoo's smell hit Fitz and his arms shook momentarily.

He could do this.

He _had_ to this.

He owed Jemma this.

Holding her close Fitz struggled to his feet.

He wouldn't fail her now.

His step became stronger the more he took towards the ramp. Colin unbuckled himself and followed Fitz down the ramp.

As soon as Fitz's feet hit the bay's floor he look up and saw there were two walls of personnel forming a guard of honour from the bay doors all the way to where the Quinjet was parked. Every person in the lines stood straight, shoulder to shoulder. Most faces held glossed over eyes, some had tear stains, and a few were controlled blank.

Fitz's arms tightened around Jemma's body when he was nearly halfway across the hanger bay and found Hunter standing to attention in among the agents. He didn't know how he was going to meet many of these people's eyes in the future without being reminded of this moment.

The only sound to be heard was the footsteps of Fitz and Colin. They reached the doors to the main corridor and the sound echoed into silence for a full minute before anyone in the bay moved.

Many didn't know how else to honour a woman they knew, respected and held in such high esteem.

It's wasn't much, but it was the best the agents could do. For all in that bay knew they would never be the same from that day forward.

**Author's Note:**

> As I was re-watching SOS I thought 'how much would everything change if Jemma went running into that building just before it exploded instead of reporting back to the Quinjet? Knowing one of her best friends just died would surely sway Skye away from her mum's manipulation.' Then I started writing, suddenly I was creating two OCs and Skye was no longer my focus, Bobbi wasn't taken by Kara and all these new little moment kept flashing in my mind so clearly.  
> So, what I was mentally estimating to be a three, maybe ( _ **maybe**_ ) four page story was suddenly seven pages and there were sections I hadn't written yet, parts I wanted to elaborate on, and additions kept popping into my head.  
> Did I get rambly? Probably, and sorry. It became too hard for me to keep writing this, so that's why I stopped at their return the Playground.  
> I don't have a beta, so there's probably lots of little errors in here. My bad! Please let me know what you think of this.


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